You don’t need fluffy advice or some perfect Pinterest routine. You need tips that actually help, stuff that makes you feel like less of a disaster when you’re knee-deep in nappies and forgetting how words work. So here’s what I wish someone had told me when I was trying to figure it all out, one lukewarm coffee at a time.
You Will Not Sleep, and It Will Break You a Little
People say newborns sleep a lot. Technically, they’re not wrong. The problem is, they sleep in short bursts that never seem to line up with when you need it. I had a stretch where my baby woke up every 40 minutes for two weeks straight. I started hallucinating that the washing machine was talking to me. I even apologised to the kettle once.
If your baby waking up constantly, you are not alone. It’s not something you’ve done wrong. Some babies are just wired that way. Maybe they’re hungry, maybe they just want to be held, or maybe they’re tiny chaos gremlins sent to test your limits. Whatever the reason, know that you’re not broken, and this stage won’t last forever. Nap when you can, even if it’s ten minutes here and there. Do the bare minimum. Forget everything that isn’t feeding the baby and keeping yourself hydrated. Survival mode is real, and it counts.
Accept That You Will Cry Over Weird Things
I cried because someone ate the last bagel. I cried because the curtains were annoying. I cried because I watched a video of a dog meeting a baby goat. Your emotions will be all over the place, and that’s normal. Hormones are no joke. Add sleep deprivation and the constant hum of responsibility and it’s a wonder any of us make it through the day without bursting into tears at least once.
Housework Can Get in the Bin
There is no award for having a tidy house with a newborn. None. Zero. Not one person is going to come over and hand you a trophy for having clean floors while also raising a tiny human. So drop the pressure.
Your job is to look after your baby and keep yourself upright. If the laundry sits in the basket for a week, so what? If you’re eating toast for dinner three nights in a row, who cares? I once found a half-eaten banana in my hoodie pocket and just shrugged. That’s where you end up, and that’s okay. Clean what you need to feel sane. Forget the rest. The house will still be there when your baby stops needing to be physically attached to you all day.
You Don’t Have to Love Every Minute
This one’s important. You will not enjoy every part of motherhood. Some parts are lovely, like baby snuggles and gummy smiles. Other parts are gross, boring or just flat-out hard. Night feeds when you’re falling asleep on your feet. Endless nappy changes. Screaming fits where nothing helps. It’s okay to admit you don’t love those moments.
You can be madly in love with your baby and still hate certain parts of the job. That doesn’t make you a bad mum. It makes you a real one. Don’t let anyone guilt you into thinking otherwise.
You Will Question Everything, Every Day
One minute you’ll feel like Supermum. The next, you’ll be Googling “is it bad if baby licks the TV remote” and convincing yourself you’ve already failed. You’ll doubt everything from how much they’ve fed to whether they’re warm enough in that outfit. And guess what? That’s completely normal.
You’re learning on the job, with no training, no manual, and a boss who can’t even hold their own head up. Give yourself a break. If your baby is fed, safe and loved, you’re already doing more than enough.
Baby Groups Can Be Hit or Miss
Some baby groups are great. You find people who are just as tired and clueless as you are. You laugh, you swap stories, and you feel like you’re not alone. Other groups feel like entering a clique from school where everyone already knows each other and no one talks to you unless your baby is wearing organic bamboo socks.
Try a few and see how you feel. Don’t force it. Some people find their tribe there. Others make friends at the park or just end up chatting to the same lovely checkout lady at Tesco every week. Human connection matters, but you don’t need to stick around anywhere that makes you feel awkward.
You’ll Laugh More Than You Expect To
There are moments that will catch you off guard. Like when you realize you’ve been walking around all morning with baby sick in your hair. Or when your baby farts so loudly it scares themselves. Or the first time you try to leave the house and it takes an hour, only to realize you forgot your own shoes.
These moments will either make you cry or laugh. Try to choose laugh, even when it’s ridiculous. Even when you’re running on no sleep and your top is on backwards. Sometimes all you can do is laugh and make another cup of tea.
Your Relationship Might Feel Weird For A Bit
It’s not just your body and routine that changes. Your relationship shifts too. You’re both tired, touched-out and trying to keep a tiny human alive. Romance takes a backseat. Conversations revolve around naps and nappies. You might bicker more. You might barely speak. That’s not a sign of failure.
It’s a hard adjustment. Talk to each other, even if it’s just five minutes at the end of the day. Be kind when you can, even if it’s just making a cup of tea for each other. You’ll find your rhythm again, but it takes time.
